How I came to love running all over again
I have always had a love-hate relationship with running. I could never tell who or what I was running for when I began running competitively in high school. It seemed as though I had a natural ability that coaches wanted, and sometimes, even other runners envied. I didn’t know who or what I was running for until I took a break.
Almost 5 years had gone by until I decided to revisit the sport. Mind you, 5 years ago I was running 6 days a week, 40+ miles per week. In my time of absence I started modeling in college and this quickly became a huge part of my life, but old habits slowly started to come back. I battled with anorexia in middle school and the beginning of high school, and the modeling industry tore apart my self esteem all over again. Being a competitive runner saved me from this back in high school. I felt strong as a runner, and that is why I decided to come back.
I thought for a little while that I wanted to run again because I was tired of being slow, but after training several months with a coach it became clear to me that I wanted to run again rebuild my strength and self esteem. I am far from where I was back in high school, but the accomplishments are far more rewarding because I have to work hard for them. I am older, I get injured, I am not as fast, but I am getting stronger every day because I was finally able to make the decision to run for me.
I am competing with myself all over again; the way it always should be, and I have never felt stronger or prettier in my life because now I can finally say that I am running for me. Oh, and my high school PRs from the days of yore, get ready because I am coming for you next!