“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

While this mantra originates from sobriety groups, its truth can be applicable to all persons. Even strong, and determined runners. In times of uncertainty, it is hard to let go of your daily life and thoughts, causing conflicting emotions in a person. Feeling of guilt and embarrassment might arise as an athlete feels grief for losing a heavily anticipated race. Similarly, there might be an attitude of enjoyment when a cyclist is able to head out for a long lunchtime ride while having a few weeks working from home and adding more time to their day. 

Can you still be socially conscious while hoping that your mid-summer race does not get cancelled or enjoying the extra free time?

ABSOLUTELY.

What does DBT have to do with running

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) examines a person’s ability to experience two conflicting emotions at the same time or over the same event. The purpose of this therapy is usually to help clients navigate emotional turmoil or conflict through reflecting values, honoring emotions, and developing a ritual of mindfulness.

While emotional turmoil can come from any number of events, spending months training for a big race to have it cancelled or postponed for reasons completely out of a person’s control is upsetting. Pushing down those feelings of loss, anger, and sadness because “it could be worse” causes internal conflict. And really enjoying spending time at home and running in the middle of the day can be a source of guilt. All of these feeling combine into a confusing and tangled mess of conflicting emotions, stemming from something that is very much out of your control.

How to move forward

First, make sure you are in a space where you feel comfortable dealing with uncomfortable emotions. If you are stressed dealing with family or work, it is best to not add more weight to your overloaded mind. Give yourself some time to decompress, exercise, go for a walk, cook a comforting meal and make sure you are in a calming space.

The next thing one should do if feeling disappointed, relieved, angery, or heartbroken over their current situation is to acknowledge those feelings. Mindfulness is an amazing tool to dive into your true emotions and understand why you feel the way you do. Take a moment to center yourself and say or write down your deep, dark, weird feelings. Avoid keeping them in your head where they can bounce around and bring you down, and only say them to a friend or loved one if you feel as though you can be 100% honest. Often, we censor ourselves when speaking with even our closest friends. Be open and vulnerable with yourself and let those confusing thoughts out of your head. Avoid making judgments on yourself or using words to negatively label yourself. This is not a time to worry about how the world might see you.

Once you have given yourself the opportunity to examine your emotions and suppressed thoughts. Give yourself the opportunity to truly experience them. Cry if you are sad, have a time to be angry, be grateful if you are experiencing relief or joy-be a little self-indulgent. Be extremely kind and generous with yourself at this time. Be present with yourself while you engage in a comforting activity to help self-sooth and avoid suppressing or ignoring your thoughts during this time.

Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance

In DBT these are all steps in practicing mindfulness: you observe, describe, and participate leading to the bigger idea of radical acceptance, which is fully embracing a situation for what it is. This is a time with limited distractions, use it to explore who you are and what you need to grow stronger.

Write to lexi@lifelongendurance for more tips on using mindfulness in running.