Building your kid's team

Building a Team around a Youth Athlete

Youth athletics are one of the fastest growing areas in sports right now. With that growth comes both an expansion of offerings as well as an even bigger microscope on the athlete, their performance, and achieving desired outcomes. As the coach of numerous growing young runners, I’ve found that there is one major difference between kids who stay in sport and those who don’t stay in the sport long term. The athlete must have a team – this isn’t a team in the sense of who they play for but rather -it’s about who plays for them. This team is the support system – the coaches, the siblings, the teammates, the physical therapists, and the people who surround and celebrate the athlete. Athletes not only need a team to support them when and pick them up when they are down but they need a team to push them to where they want to go!

Mentors in Many Places

There are people that will come into your athlete’s world that will challenge your son or daughter. They will ask them to think differently, take thoughtful and calculated risks, and help them become a better person and athlete. These people will share in both the success and failure, a true mentor weathers the storm by teaching them to dance in the rain. This may not just be a single person, it can be a team or a culture of people. These are the people that “get” your son or daughter. This may be the first time they feel like they are among the people who they are meant to be around.

Keep the car purring

One of the people we only come to with big “solve it NOW” problems is our mechanic. Our mechanic is often not the person we delight in seeing because it’s preventing you from going from A to B and is in the way of doing what you want to be doing. Teaching your athlete to verbalize and understand pain and discomfort that goes beyond what is normal for the sport is key. As an athlete our body is our vehicle and we have to maintain it much the same way. If dynamic warm ups and stretching after practice are the equivalent of checking your oil when you fill up your gas tank; then getting massage therapy, adjustments, dry needling is the equivalent of an oil change. You must do it as you put miles on the vehicle. What you hope for is that you don’t have to make a trip to the body shop and see a podiatrist, orthopedist, or sports rehab specialist. Keeping your car clean by rolling out, Epsom salt baths, and lots of sleep. Make sure you find a great mechanic that you can trust and someone who knows your make and model; find someone who specializes in what you athlete does and you’ll always leave happy!

You don’t get what you don’t ask for

At Peak Performance Running, I encourage athletes to practice self-advocacy. Learning how to speak with your coaches, teachers, and mentors is not always ingrained form Day 1. Many athletes need to learn how to ask for what they need. I often tell the kids “I can’t read your minds, tell me what you need”. I do my best to be available to my athletes but it’s not always a good time to talk through an issue (especially if it’s personal). Teaching your kids to ask tough questions, ask “why” and take a lead role in their training should be seen by the coach as an athlete seeking to make a bigger and deeper investment in their own success. This is likely a more common scenario when they are in a place with great mentors, a great culture, where they feel like their “people” won’t be judged. Self-advocacy often means taking a focus on where your athlete can improve and not focusing on where they are always strong. Remind that this one thing if nothing else – asking for help is not a weakness. Asking for help takes big courage and they should be praised for speaking up. 

The Mental Side of Thing

Athletes must understand that they are not given all the skills they need the moment they walk onto a track, into a weight room, or into practice. In fact, it’s why we call it practice – it’s a safe place to fail and make mistakes. While it’s easy to build strength and endurance – building a mental view of one’s self can be very difficult. As young athletes grow up they first model the behaviors they see around them, they then move into a complicated and complex process of defining their sense of “self”. For some athletes the boldness, tenacity, and confidence come easily and from an early age. For others, it comes with significant amounts of vulnerability, personal trust, and support. As much as we praise athletes for asking for help as they advocate for themselves, they may not always see that their performances could be benefiting from greater self confidence and trust in themselves. Seeking out a counselor to work through personal and performance issues is highly encouraged. This gives the athlete a neutral party that can integrate tools and techniques that the athlete can use on and off the field of competition to elevate their performance. Find a counselor that specializes in optimizing human performance/ sports performance.

Putting it all together

Building a team around your athlete truly requires engagement in all directions and is definitely an investment in your athlete’s health and success. An engaged parent is the number 1 difference maker in young adult’s success. This goes beyond the conversations in the car ride home, it’s the time you spend to sit down and talk goes. Ask them about their dreams and aspirations in the sport they pursue – encourage them to get uncomfortable and challenge them to lead. The investment in your child’s success is money well spent, it pays back over a lifetime.